Fuck you, World. I want Kirstin back.

I want my friend back.  The friend who understood me and knew me better than anyone.  The friend who called me at all hours just because she felt like it.  Who would miss me if we hadn't spoken for more than a week.  Who was always happy when I called and would make the call last as long as possible.  And to whom I could do the same.
Kirstin knew me better than anyone.  She knew all about my stupid social and romantic hang-ups, but they didn't bother her.  She didn't endure them or not care about them; she just understood and let them be.  When I acted or said something stupid or went too far, she didn't call attention to it or hold it against me.  She let it pass and promptly forgot it.  She knew the secret me that few know or care about.  I could trust her and she could trust me.  We talked for hours about secret fears and dreams, family and friends, science art and philosophy.
Now she's gone and there's a gaping hole in my life that I fall into and have to climb back out of almost weekly.  I can't talk to anyone else the way I could talk to Kirstin.  I can't call at random times just for the Hell of it.  I have to watch everything I say and be careful of slip-ups, which I regularly fail at.  I have to analyze what they say and constantlybe on the lookout for double meanings and innuendos.  Even then, most of them can only last a few minutes at most before finding some excuse to end the conversation, let alone talk for hours like Kirstin and I used to.  The worst part is that if it had been anybody else who died, Kirstin would have been the one who could get me through it.
So yeah, fuck you world.  None of you can fill the hole left in my soul when she left.  Not even close.  So just leave me alone and let me get on with my solitary existence.